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On the difficulty of being me

· Journey,Anxiety

There is this invisible standard that the best way to be is to ‘be yourself’. Yet, nobody has given any advice on how to do that. And who exactly is this ‘myself’ that I should be?

I worry a lot about what others think. I want others to like me, to think I’m smart, to be impressed by my hardwork and intelligence. But I’m also afraid of coming across as arrogant, self-important, or worst of all — as an idiot who doesn’t know she’s an idiot.

But what I’ve come to realise is the fallacy of this sort — by trying to portray myself in a favourable light, I’m unable to be myself, and because of that, it’s harder for people to actually like me. And so you see my circling thoughts.

All these just lead me to more hesitations, more doubts, more inertia. But as all wise things suggest, action is the best course of action (I actually just made that up but it sounds like something someone wise would say). Regardless, I chose to dive in.

Although I’m scared of sharing my opinions, I strive to have my voice and thoughts be heard. I am attempting this thing called authenticity in the hopes that it’ll inspire other people to have the courage to do something they wanted, despite how scary it may seem.

So before I begin to over analyze and worry about the 3,500 things that may go wrong, I’m going to hit publish.

Let’s do this.

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